Via Princess Sparklepony: although I am an avid reader of The New Yorker, their regular humor column, Shouts & Murmurs, is something I’m usually indifferent about (as opposed to their excellent cartoons). However, a recent edition is one of the funniest things I have read in weeks:
Explaining how she felt when John McCain offered her the Vice-Presidential spot, my Vice-Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, said something very profound: “I answered him ‘Yes’ because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.”
Isn’t that so true? I know that many times, in my life, while living it, someone would come up and, because of I had good readiness, in terms of how I was wired, when they asked that—whatever they asked—I would just not blink, because, knowing that, if I did blink, or even wink, that is weakness, therefore you can’t, you just don’t. You could, but no—you aren’t.
That is just how I am.
Oh what the hell, I can’t resist quoting some more:
In summary: Because my candidate, unlike your winking/blinking Vice-Presidential candidate, who, though, yes, he did run as the running mate when the one asking him to run did ask him to run, which that I admire, one thing he did not do, with his bare hands or otherwise, is, did he ever kill a moose? No, but ours did. And I would. Please bring a moose to me, over by me, and down that moose will go, and, if I had a kid, I would take a picture of me showing my kid that dead moose, going, like, Uh, sweetie, no, he is not resting, he is dead, due to I shot him, and now I am going to eat him, and so are you, oh yes you are, which is responsible, as God put this moose here for us to shoot and eat and take a photo of, although I did not, at that time, know why God did, but in years to come, God’s will was revealed, which is: Hey, that is a cool photo for hunters about to vote to see, plus what an honor for that moose, to be on the Internet.
How does the moose feel about it? Who knows? Probably not great. But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?
Lipstick.
Think about it.
I have it on good authority that all of George Saunders’ (author of the above) work is well worth reading, and I intend to follow up on that.
Over the course of recent months, Salon’s globalization blog, How The World Works, has become indispensable reading in my personal universe. Andrew Leonard, the blog’s writer, has been especially on top of things during this financial crisis. He outdid himself yesterday:
To recap: Conservative Republicans are mad at Bush, a Republican presidential candidate is mad at Bush's choice for SEC chairman because he's insufficiently tough on Wall Street, but not mad enough to lambaste Bush himself. And the Republican SEC chairman is mad at his party's nominee for president.
Somewhere, a Democratic witch doctor who preached "Confusion to the enemy!" this morning is cackling, satisfied with a day's work well done.
But really, read the whole thing. And I highly recommend his blog for helping understand and celebrate this ever-more-connected world we live in.